Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Why I'm Not Allowed to Grocery Shop on Sundays

I get annoyed with people easily; people in stores, people in traffic, etc. Generally Steve and I try to avoid the grocery store on Sunday's because it's always crowded. After this past weekend, we avoid them now so I don't "accidentally" run someone over with my shopping cart and laugh maniacally.

Here's an example of ONE of the things that happened:

Obvious rich stay at home mom with her big cart in front of the entire cheese section.
Her spoiled children terrorizing the entire dairy section on those sneakers with wheels. Just seeing that alone, I need to hold back my urge to clothesline one of them as they whiz past me and almost hit an old lady who thinks she's gone crazy because these little beasts are gliding around like birds.

Mom: What kind of string cheese do you want for your lunches?
Evil child: I don't care.
Mom: Do you want white or yellow?
EC: I don't care.
Mom: Well you liked the white last time..... But the yellow is better for you...I think.. I can't remember. Well, cheese can't be bad for you right?
(Evil child has now almost knocked me over twice while I wait for the lady to pick a damn cheese)
Mom: Oh, there's a white yellow mix. What about that?
EC: I don't like things to touch.
Mom: Well....pick one. Yellow or white. Do you want one of these fun shapes?

My automatic urge is to pick up both yellow and white and throw them at her while my internal voice says, "Okay lady, freakin' pick one!! If they don't listen or they don't care, just buy one, or two, or the whole damn section. If they don't like what you pick that's too damn bad."

It's been five minutes of white or yellow, white or yellow. What about mixed? White or yellow.

Steve sees my jaw and knuckles start to clench as I'm making my way toward the cheese section to shove said mom out of the way so I can just get my damn cream cheese. He intercepts me in the nick of time and guides me toward the soup aisle to continue our shopping.

Remind me again why I can't just *calmly* tell the lady to shove the cheese where the sun don't shine? I'd be nice....I swear....

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