Thursday, August 28, 2014

The Puppet Show

"She's been to the puppet show and she's seen the strings."- Cuba Gooding Jr. as Rod Tidwell in "Jerry Maguire"

I was just another pregnant lady among thousands in the 29 weeks leading up to Munchkin's birth.  I did the normal pregnant lady things, thought the normal pregnant lady thoughts, focused on my due date, and went about life totally naive to what was coming.

I became a different person at 29 weeks and 1 day into my pregnancy.  I was told I was very ill and they needed to take Munchkin out to save my life.  Everything changed in that moment.  My former self ceased to exist and four days later I became a preemie mom.  I became privvy to things I had no idea existed, or I knew they existed on some level but never really stopped to think about what it meant.

I learned things and saw things in the 11 weeks that followed that I never wanted to learn.  I  met people I never wanted meet.  I became aware of just how scary and dangerous pregnancy can be.  I learned just how many things can go wrong in a pregnancy even in the year 2010.  I was almost 27-years-old, healthy, and things like that just don't happen to regular people like me.  But they do.  It did.  And I met so many other moms who were just like me, like you, like anyone and we all ended up in this abyss with barely a moments notice.

So now I find myself in an odd place.  I'm not naive to pregnancy problems and how bad it can get.  I've been to the puppet show and I've seen the strings, if you will, and now we've decided to put ourselves in a situation where we could end up back in the NICU life.  It's a very strange place to be with many mixed emotions but, in a way, I feel better prepared if not a little sad I can't be blindly optomistic.

But optomistic none-the-less, because I'm pregnant. <3 p="">

Friday, August 01, 2014


“The baby was so beautiful to us, and I look back at the photos of him and it must have been jarring for other people to come in and see him, but to us he was so beautiful and perfect.” - Actor Chris Pratt talking about his son, Jack, who was born 9 weeks premature.

I instantly teared up when I read this story on People Magazine's website about Anna Faris and Chris Pratt's 9-week-premature son, Jack.  There aren't a lot of mainstream stories about preemies and even less that focus on the positive.

This story hit me right in the heart because his sentiments are right on and so well stated.  It used to bother me so much when the first thing people would say about G-man is how tiny and frail he looked.  I even wrote a blog post about it because it irked me so much.  It wasn't my most eloquent post but it was something that really frustrated me to the point I would snap at people who said that all the time.

And now Chris Pratt has gone and perfectly put why this bothered me so much; because I was blind to how other people perceived him.  When family and friends saw G-man's picture posted to my Facebook page, some commented on how tiny and frail he looked, how all those tubes and machines were scary, how they couldn't believe something so small could function.

When I looked at those same pictures I was blind to his frailty, blind to how scary it was that he was literally skin and bones. But I wasn't oblivious, I just saw something different.

I saw my pride and joy, a piece of my own heart outside my body, my beautifully perfect boy; and this perfect boy just so happened to be small and hooked up to machines.  He was my perfect baby boy first and a tiny preemie second.

Thursday, February 20, 2014


Today's Munchkin-ism:

"My knee has a booboo. I tink I need anoder diggle for that."


He got a cut on his leg a week ago that he's milking sympathy from and he thinks he deserves another popsicle for powering through.

Friday, February 07, 2014

Crash Helmet

I am the mother of a very active boy; a couch-as-a-launch-pad, falling down, climbing things, curious, into everything active boy.  Some days it's all I can do to keep up with his energy and his physical play, but knowing where he came from it makes my heart happy that he has such a zest for life.  He's creative and inventive and can make a game out of pretty much anything.

I was not surprised when the ultrasound tech told us we were having a boy as I had just KNOWN Munchkin was a boy from the very beginning.  I always saw myself as the mom to a little boy and, boy oh boy, I had no idea what I was really in for.

His physical play makes my heart stop.  He's not a "typical" boy that has no fear; he's very careful when it comes to new situations and will absolutely not jump off something unless he's 100% sure he knows what will happen on the other side.  He's a cautious daredevil.  However he finds himself in situations that leave a mark.  For example, yesterday he was rooting through the coat closet while I was cleaning the kitchen. He got caught up on something and fell onto something sharp and plastic that was on the floor.  Screeching and tears followed.  Oh, and Munchkin was crying and screeching too.  There was blood, lost skin and a frantic phone call to my dad to reassure me Munchkin wasn't going to lose his leg.  Of course Munchkin now wants to know all about his boo-boo and look at it all the time.  Apparently not squeamish at all.  I'll spare you the picture of his knee the morning after.

Motherhood should come with a crash helmet.

Launching himself off the sofa last week

Wednesday, February 05, 2014

She's Crafty

I've been busy spending my free time crafting.  This month is the lead up to Valentine's Day and I'm excited about several of my wreaths but especially the one I made with burlap.  I've never worked with burlap before but love the shabby chic look so I decided to try my hand at one.

In addition to this lovely wreath, I also crafted myself a second degree burn on my finger from the hot glue.  Perhaps it's time to find a glue gun that doesn't smoke when the hot glue comes out......just a thought. 

My house is all ready for Valentine's Day now!  If you want to see my other ones, hop over to my Etsy shop and take a look around. 

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

It's Just a Phase, It's Just a Phase

That's the statement I need to keep repeating to myself.  I love Munchkin more than life itself, but homegirl is TIRED!

This morning at 5AM
Munchkin is going through some sort of 3-year-old phase.  I'm assuming it's a combination of growing pains and the start of monsters under his bed.  This has culminated in multiple wakup calls through the night and Munchkin not going directly back to sleep.

For instance: Last night he fought bedtime until past 9PM, woke up at 4AM and was up until 4:30AM. He was back up at 5AM and stayed up until 7AM.  He finally passed out about the time the sun came up.  It's 11:45AM and I've been up for almost 8 hours already.

It's days like this I question my sanity of ever having a child (oh those long, sleep-filled nights of being child free!) and wonder what the flying fuck we're thinking of even entertaining the idea of having another.  As I'm trying to bribe my child back to sleep this morning, it's 7AM, the sun is coming up and I'm STILL awake, and I'm saying to myself "to-do list for tomorrow: schedule Hubs a vasectomy".

Good thing Munchkin is cute.

Sunday, January 05, 2014

What I'm Loving Now

1. Cucumber Water
     In the interest of being healthier and staying hydrated in this dryer climater (funny on Baltimore is dry. How quickly the body forgets it's from Colorado!) I'm drinking more water....except water is so boring!  I've been jazzing it up a little with berries, mint, lemon lime.  But cucumbers are by far my favorite.

2. Snow, finally!
     One of culture shocks of moving from Michigan to Maryland is the lack of snow in Winter.  That all changed on Thursday when we got 7 inches!  Oh happy day.

3. Wegmans Brand Just Tea Hibiscus Green Tea
     Holy yum, that is all I have to say.

4.  Skinny Cow Peanut Butter Heavenly Crisps
    Again, in the interest of being healthier, I'm trying to even have my chocolate be healthier.  I'll have a piece of Godiva Dark Chocolate with salted caramel.  Or I have a Skinny Cow.  The bars are about 5 inches long and make me feel like I'm getting more bang for my buck.  It's only 110 calories for the whole bar....seriously.  Plus since it's a little over 100 calories, that means I can have two.  Right?  No? Okay fine, just one.

5. This cover of "Royals" originally by Lorde.
     In the interest of making this post not entirely about food, here's a little diddy for you listening pleasure. I love a good acapella.