Why I'm Not Allowed to Grocery Shop on Sundays

I get annoyed with people easily; people in stores, people in traffic, etc. Generally Steve and I try to avoid the grocery store on Sunday's because it's always crowded. After this past weekend, we avoid them now so I don't "accidentally" run someone over with my shopping cart and laugh maniacally.

Here's an example of ONE of the things that happened:

Obvious rich stay at home mom with her big cart in front of the entire cheese section.
Her spoiled children terrorizing the entire dairy section on those sneakers with wheels. Just seeing that alone, I need to hold back my urge to clothesline one of them as they whiz past me and almost hit an old lady who thinks she's gone crazy because these little beasts are gliding around like birds.

Mom: What kind of string cheese do you want for your lunches?
Evil child: I don't care.
Mom: Do you want white or yellow?
EC: I don't care.
Mom: Well you liked the white last time..... But the yellow is better for you...I think.. I can't remember. Well, cheese can't be bad for you right?
(Evil child has now almost knocked me over twice while I wait for the lady to pick a damn cheese)
Mom: Oh, there's a white yellow mix. What about that?
EC: I don't like things to touch.
Mom: Well....pick one. Yellow or white. Do you want one of these fun shapes?

My automatic urge is to pick up both yellow and white and throw them at her while my internal voice says, "Okay lady, freakin' pick one!! If they don't listen or they don't care, just buy one, or two, or the whole damn section. If they don't like what you pick that's too damn bad."

It's been five minutes of white or yellow, white or yellow. What about mixed? White or yellow.

Steve sees my jaw and knuckles start to clench as I'm making my way toward the cheese section to shove said mom out of the way so I can just get my damn cream cheese. He intercepts me in the nick of time and guides me toward the soup aisle to continue our shopping.

Remind me again why I can't just *calmly* tell the lady to shove the cheese where the sun don't shine? I'd be nice....I swear....

The Past Weekend Wrap-up

Yes, I know it's already Wednesday but it's only my second day back at work since I had Monday off.

This weekend I finally said yes to Steve about getting a basketball hoop for our backyard. We had one about a year ago and putting that damn thing together was more than I could handle. None of the pre-drilled holes lined up, it was missing parts and the directions were so ridiculously vague they may as well have been written in Swahili. Needless to say it wasn't very sturdy, the rim moved when the ball hit it and the wind blew it over two weeks later. So I kept telling Steve we are NOT getting another one.

Well, I caved. :) I thought we would give it another shot (no pun intended) and go with a different brand.

We bought it and then realized it may not fit in my Focus. While trying to figure out how to lay the back seat down I think I may have pulled a muscle in my shoulder. I was tugging and Steve was pushing. I cut my hand on some metal under the seat while running my hand around it to find the latch. Then I think to myself, "Maybe it unlatches from the trunk." So I'm pulling and tugging for close to 15 minutes when Steve goes, "Hey, what does this lever do?" and easy as pie, the seats fall forward. Wow, I feel really smart right now.

So we get it home and unpack it. Doesn't look too hard, right? We start laying out the pieces and I'm glancing through the directions. Have you ever assemlbed something with more than 5 pieces that go together? Well, if you haven't, let me tell you how the directions usually go:

Step One: Take pieces A & B and attach them to base 5 with five #26 bolts, 3 #6 washers and 1 #98 nut. Make sure holes match up. Tighten nut until your hand falls off.

Step Two: Try to hold the rim, backboard, support rail and hoop pole (that all weigh about 70 pounds together) exactly steady and even while you jam a #75 bolt through a hole and screw it in with the octopus hands you'll need to accomplish this.

Step Three: Throw directions and a #82 bolt at husband and go inside for a drink.

Step Four and Five: Go to Home Depot (twice) to find spare bolt since it was dropped and the garage apparently swallowed it. Go to Home Depot again to find spare nut since it was dropped and the garage apparently swallowed it.

Step Six: Once it's all put together (still have NO idea how we accomplished it) step back and stare because you'll be WAY too tired to actually play with it.

Step Five: Drink heavily.

All in all, it was much easier and is much sturdier than the first one. We keep it in the garage so the famous Ft. Collins wind doesn't knock it over and we've actually played with it a few times.

So next time you're in FoCo, stop on by. Look for the serial killer van in front!

It's Sappy Time, sorry

To spare you the long story and details that are too personal to blog on here, Steve has been amazing lately. Well, he's always amazing to me, but the last few weeks have been really special and I keep falling in love with him over and over again. When I hear this song I think of him and thought I would share it because it's a great song.

Everything by Michael Buble

And now, a poem

My friend sent this to me. Apparently she isn't a huge fan of Valentine's Day either. :) Enjoy!

Hearts and roses and kisses galore,
What the hell is all that crap for?
People get mushy and start acting queer,
It's definitely the most annoying day of the year.
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass,
Before I shove something up cupids ass.
I'll spend the day so drunk I cant speak
And wear black for the rest of the week.
Guys act all sweet but soon it will fade,
For all they are doing is trying to get laid.

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day everyone. :) This holiday is very up and down for a lot of people. Some people love it, some people hate it and some people think it's just another day in February. When I was single, my old roommate, Kelcy, and I used to call it Single's Awareness Day. Nice, right?

Well Steve and I don't celebrate it. One, because I think it's bullshit to have ONE day you express your love to your significant other. It's much more romantic to get flowers or a date night just for the hell of it than because it's Feb 14th. Who cares? You and your guy should be romantic other days as well!

We also don't celebrate it because my birthday is in two weeks and then our anniversary is 5 days after that. So I think that's enough love for two weeks :)

My day started off horribly by the way. I haven't been feeling well the last few days. I'll spare you the details. But I drag my ass to work anyway because I don't feel quite bad enough to justify staying home without feeling guilty. But I digress. SO, I'm not feeling well, we got about 4 inches of snow last night which made my commute so much longer than necessary and I've lost my cell phone. I'm pretty sure it's in the van but I can't be positive because no one would answer their damn phone so I could ask if it was there. *deep breath*

Then Steve and I get into a tiff over something.

Then once I actually arrive at work I find out someone "doesn't feel well today" and needs to go home. *sniff sniff* Does someone else smell bulls**t?



Hopefully this day gets even better and I eat s**t in the middle of the road on my way to lunch or something. That would just top it off, really.

Happy freakin' VDay!

Weekend Update with Mrs. Wonderful

So this was a little bit of a rough weekend. Things have been stressful in many parts of my life for the past week or so but I've had to remain "up"; pretend like everything was fine, push on, push forward. When the weekend came, not only did I crash physically but I crashed mentally. I had a minor setback with my depression and needless to say it wasn't a very relaxing weekend for me or Steve.

So now it's Monday and I'm both physically and mentally exhausted and need nap....or another weekend! But it's going to be another long week and I'm trying desperately to not take the unpleasantness out on Steve because it's not fair to him.

Other things that are going on:

Another one of my friends informs me last night about 8:30 MST (10:30PM NY time) that she's getting a divorce. I wasn't even going to call her back last night because I was content laying on the sofa watching Extreme Makeover:Home Edition but I sucked it up and called her. It's a long, confusing, not-sure-I-have-all-the-facts story. Basically 6 months before she was married, her now-husband joined the Marine reserves against her wishes. Now he's delpoyed to God-knows-where as a sniper. She cheated on him. It was a long conversation but it needed to happen for her to get it off her chest and just say it out loud.
This on will be interesting. Who needs television when I have so much drama with my friends?

Other stuff that's NOT so depressing:
I switched VanGo's a little over a week ago. The new one is MARVELOUS! It picks up in Loveland and goes straight to Denver. No other stops! I've been getting home about 6:15 every night which makes a huge difference from the 6:45 it used to be. Plus I don't have to be around Bitchy McBitcherson anymore. The new van chit-chats but a lot of people sleep or read. Ah, I love it.

Since I get home a little earlier now I've decided to either walk when I get home if it's nice out or work out to FitTV if it's dark or cold. Since I have a little more time on my hands now and motivation, I'm trying to get back into shape; into a shape that isn't round :) Disclaimer: I know I'm not fat but I could be in better shape and have been in better shape. I would just like to tone up and eat healthier.

That's all for today :)

Steve's New Job and other things

Here's a little background: For the last 6 months, Steve has worked for Anheiser Busch in their non-alcoholic division. I know you're probably saying to yourself, "He works for a beer company and sells juice and soda?" The answer? Yes. Don't ask me why.

Well, the point of him working there is to get his foot in the door to eventually get his own territory as a beer merchandiser. A few things happened in between now and then, and to make a long (and confusing) story short, Steve is now the West Fort Collins beer rep. Woohoo! But there goes my free soda and juice hook-up....damn.

Steve tells me that now being on the beer side means he has to trade in his company car, a Pontiac Vibe, for a different one. FYI, the company car is parked in front of our house as Steve drives it to and from work as well. The conversation went as follows:

Steve: I have to give the Vibe back.
Me: Why? It's still the same company.
Steve: I don't know. Because they told me to.
Me: So what do you drive now?
Steve: Well....
Me: Well what?
Steve: It's a white van.
Me: Like the ones serial killers drive??
Steve: Well.....yea. But this one says Budweiser on it! (in a tone trying to tell me that's a good thing) And if we ever need to move something that won't fit in the car, we have the van.
Me: Like a body?
Steve: Yea, or like ten. And beer will still fit too so we can booze it up after we make the drop.

Yes, my husband is a comedian :)


<-- not the van he drives but that's what I'm envisioning.

So yes, we will have a white Budweiser van parked in front of our house. If you ever come over, instead of giving you directions I will just have you look for the van. I wonder what the HOA will have to say about it. They always have SOMETHING to say about everything it seems.



But congrats to the hubby for getting a promotion and FREE BEER! If we ever come over to your house, you know what we'll be bringing. (Beer, not bodies)