Dear Cranky-Pants Across the Street-
When you yell at your teenager in the driveway, I can hear you. When you come wadling out of your house to angrily drag in your trash can, I can see you sulk all the way out to the curb and all the way back to your house. When you try to gun-it down your driveway to make it out to the street before me, you make me laugh. When I wave in the mornings and you pretend you don't see me even though you're basically 15 feet away, I won't take it personally even though I'm as big as two people right now.
Thank you for making my day more entertaining.
-Your more cheery neighbor
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