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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Self Diagnosis

I'm not allowed on WebMD anymore. After the millionth time I came home to tell Steve I had a brain tumor/flesh eating bacteria/whooping cough/anthrax, my husband said "no more of the self-diagnosing symptoms you develop while bored at work."

This new diagnosis, however, is different. This disease is rare, not understood by everyone...and completely made up. It's called Movie-Line Tourettes. I realized I had it while talking to my Dad, which is fitting because it's his fault I have it.

So my Dad starts telling me a story and he says "sounds like a piece of cake, right?" My movie-line tourettes kicks in and I automatically blurt out, "piece of cake! Piece of cake! She spoke it!" with no regard for the rest of the story my Dad was telling. *Bonus points if you know what movie that's from w/o Googling it. Anyone? Anyone?*

This diagnosis is a little scary for me because not only can I not help it or control it, but not everyone understands or sympathizes with my affliction. It's beyond my comprehension but not everyone runs movie lines through every day conversations. I know...crazy, right? This realization has come from countless awkward moments when I string a movie line in and all I get in return is a blank stare and a long pause before the person says "um....what?"

My condition comes from a quarter of a century of running movie lines with my Dad and now my husband as well. My Dad will stick something sly into the conversation and then say "what movie?" and whoever gets it right first wins.

I hate to say it but I fear there is no cure. To me, the world will always be diveded into people with MLT (movie-line tourettes) and people without it.

The outhers with never understand our plight.

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