Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Worst Vacation Ever

Bed Rest: Day 10

I've been on bed rest for 10 days now.  I can't believe it's already been that long and in other ways it feels like an eternity.  I only have 30 days to go.

Being told to stay in bed, relax, read, and watch movies would've felt amazing even just a month ago, especially being the mom to an incredibly active almost-4-year-old.  No laundry? No cleaning? Being able to sleep all day?  Sign me up! But I don't like being told what to do.  You are FORCING me to stay in bed and have someone do everything for me?  How dare you!

It's been an emotional 10 days full of ups and downs.  I swing back and forth between knowing I'm doing the right thing for my health and the baby's health, and then feeling helpless and like a burden to those around me.  Absolutely everything is being done for me from groceries, cleaning, entertaining Munchkin, even down to asking someone to get me something to eat or refill my water.  For someone as self-sufficient as I am, it's so incredibly hard to ask for help let alone so much help.

However, I am determined to give this little girl in my belly the absolute very best start to her life and if that means I have to lay in bed all day and let my mother and husband do everything for me, so be it.  It's not forever; my scheduled csection (fingers crossed I make it that far) is 4 weeks from tomorrow so that's the longest on will be on bed rest.

In the meantime I have oodles of time for things like magazines, books, surfing the internet, online shopping (The Hubs isn't so excited about that one), and catching up on my DVR and Netflix shows.  For example, right now I'm watching White Christmas while updating my blog for you fine people as my velcro cat makes herself comfortable as close to me as humanly possible.

It's not all fun and games though.  I have the habit of over-thinking, obsessing, worrying and with all this time on my hands it's hard not to over analyze everything.  I check my blood pressure probably more than I should.  I worry about the effects of prematurity at whatever gestation I happen to be at the moment.  I think about the date and how LONG 4 weeks feels when my blood pressure can't make up its mind.  I live appointment to appointment and hope my labs keep coming back normal and unchanging.  I pray a lot.

But today is almost over and that's one day closer to having our sweet girl here healthy and chubby.  Every day counts and today is one less day she'd have to spend in the NICU.

Okay, back to White Christmas.  These songs aren't going to sing themselves.  "Snow. Snow. Snow. Snooooooow"

No comments: