It's been a rough few weeks for me; mentally, emotionally, physically, health-wise. Some people know, but my company filed bankruptcy in November which we knew was a definite possibility since about September of 2008. The workload has dwindled to basically nothing except maintaining what we have. I've been eternally grateful that month after month we defy the odds and are still around. I'm grateful that unlike so many millions of Americans, I'm lucky enough to keep my job for right now, god willing.
Although it's hard to continue to be utterly grateful day after day, month after month and it's starting to ware on me. I'm exhausted mentally. For 8+ months I've been living in a state of limbo; not knowing what's coming, not knowing what's going to happen two weeks from now. It's hard.
The Hubs and I can't plan things like vacations or days off until two weeks before we plan on going just to make sure I have a job to finance the vacation.
It's even harder because we want a family sometime. We want to start a family together. Everyone always tells us "If you wait until the 'right' time or until you have 'x' amount of money, you'll never have a child. There is no 'right' time." And while I appreciate loved ones input and fully agree there's never a "right" time, Steve and I agree there is definitely a "wrong" time.
In an economy where millions of people honestly CAN'T find jobs and me not knowing how long mine will be around, it seems to be a bad time to bring a child into the financial mix. How can I throw caution to the wind and say "what the hell, let's have a kid" if I don't know if I'll be employed in 3 months and very well may not be able to find another job to support said-Child?
Steve and I may have an exciting opportunity in the next three months that could change the need to rely on my job and could possibly be the answer we need.
Please pray that we get to take advantage of this new opportunity. Please pray hard.