When Munchkin was born, I envisioned myself thinking about his dramatic arrival every day. I thought I would thank God every second of every day for this little miracle and kissing the ground he walks on.
Don't get me wrong, I'm completely obsessed with my son and he amazes me every single day. But I get burned out just like any normal parent does. I get frustrated when he just throws his food on the ground over and over and refuses to eat or irritated when he just will..not...go...to....sleep. I don't think about the trauma of the his birth all day every day, but I do recognize things every day that make me even more proud of how far he's come.
The fact that he can stand up in the middle of the living room and walk to get a popsicle. The fact that he can even ask for a popsicle. When I ask him what he does when he's happy and he gives me the cheesiest smile ever.
But we go on with our lives too. In many ways we're just like any normal family of three.
Every once in awhile it hits me hard just how lucky we are and how hard Munchkin has worked to be "normal". A few nights ago I was editing a video I made of Munchkin's NICU stay and somehow I had forgotten just how little and helpless he looked and just how hard he fought.
When I checked on him before I headed to bed he was peacefully sleeping with his hands above his head like he normally does. It hit me like a ton of bricks; I could've lost him. He woke up when he heard the floorboards creek and I picked him up to rock him back to sleep.
The smell of him, the heat of his body and the weight of him on my chest choked me up. It brought back the memories of Kangaroo Care and just how small he felt. The first time I held him he was barely a foot long, less when he was curled up, tucked up under my chin. Holding him that night, so warm and peaceful, he lays on my chest but he reaches all the way down my torso, almost to my knees at 35 inches long. I lost it. I spent 45 minutes rocking my sleeping toddler, tears streaming down my face.
No matter how long it's been, I'm still completely grateful for this little miracle man and am constantly in awe of how far he's come. My son is my hero.
Thursday, November 01, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
NICU Twist to Sandy
New York University Hospital Langone Medical Center relied on generators to keep the power going to sustain the 200+ patients they were caring for during Hurricane Sandy. When these generators started to fail, the staff needed to get the patients out to hospitals unaffected by the power outtage.
These patients included 20 NICU babies, several on machine-run respirators.
The valiant NICU nurses unplugged the babies, grabbed manual breathing masks and physically breathed for the babies while they evacuated. The nurses jumped on a stretcher and cradled the babies while pumping oxygen into their undeveloped lungs while being wheeled to safety.
The very thought of that brings tears to my eyes. Then I saw this picture.
And the tears were no longer in my eyes. This may be one of the most moving pictures I've ever seen. There are no words.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Wanna Be My BFF?
How do you meet friends when you're new in a city, stay at home with your young child and don't really know anyone but your neighbors? I've been to some meetup.com groups and didn't meet anyone worth the effort of extroverting myself for (yes, I verbed extrovert). I met a few people on BabyCenter and one was absolutely fabulous (!!) but then her husband just HAD to take a better job in Ohio.
There are women in my neighborhood I see taking walks with their children roughly Munchkin's age but unless we all show up to a neighborhood event, how do I invite someone to a playdate without seeming like a completely creepy stalker-mom?
For example, Munchkin and I are sitting in the living room playing with stickers and I see a mom stroll by with her little one. How do I approach her? I think tearing out my front door chasing after them yelling "do you want to hang out?!?!" is probably out of the question.
And when I pass one on a walk when we're on a walk? How do I just stop her cold in her tracks and ask them over without her thinking "wow, this woman is desperate"?
Le sigh.
Do you want to be my friend? :)
There are women in my neighborhood I see taking walks with their children roughly Munchkin's age but unless we all show up to a neighborhood event, how do I invite someone to a playdate without seeming like a completely creepy stalker-mom?
For example, Munchkin and I are sitting in the living room playing with stickers and I see a mom stroll by with her little one. How do I approach her? I think tearing out my front door chasing after them yelling "do you want to hang out?!?!" is probably out of the question.
And when I pass one on a walk when we're on a walk? How do I just stop her cold in her tracks and ask them over without her thinking "wow, this woman is desperate"?
Le sigh.
Do you want to be my friend? :)
Friday, October 12, 2012
It Is NOT The Same
There are posts on message boards all over the internet touting applesauce used in place of oil when baking doesn't change consistency or taste in said baked goods.
I'm here to tell you that's a freakin' lie. I used applesauce in brownies instead of oil and.....dear god, the brownies turned out disgusting. Mealy with almost a gelatin consistency after you start to eat it.
I'll take my brownies full of fat, like God intended, thankyouverymuch.
I'm here to tell you that's a freakin' lie. I used applesauce in brownies instead of oil and.....dear god, the brownies turned out disgusting. Mealy with almost a gelatin consistency after you start to eat it.
I'll take my brownies full of fat, like God intended, thankyouverymuch.
Wednesday, October 03, 2012
Fall Wreath
I've been feeling craftier lately. I love to craft but haven't been able to really undertake any projects in the last two years. I've been a tad, ahem, busy.
However, I would like to change this so Hubs watches Munchkin so I can have some time to do some things I love. And we really needed a Fall Season wreath for our front door to spruce things up a little, so I did some research and came up with this. (Keep in mind this is my first attempt and I think it's a work in progress. I'll post an update if I change it.)
However, I would like to change this so Hubs watches Munchkin so I can have some time to do some things I love. And we really needed a Fall Season wreath for our front door to spruce things up a little, so I did some research and came up with this. (Keep in mind this is my first attempt and I think it's a work in progress. I'll post an update if I change it.)
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
FYI
Press and Seal is NOT equivalent to a gallon size bag.
Yes, that's worchestershire sauce, soy sauce, red wine vinegar and olive oil on the counter, down the cabinet and pooling on the floor.
Yes, that's worchestershire sauce, soy sauce, red wine vinegar and olive oil on the counter, down the cabinet and pooling on the floor.
Mom Problems
It was a long night the night before. Every hour on the hour Munchkin would wake up absolutely inconsolable, crying, running nose, blubbering. He'd had a bad dream and needed snuggles and a book. The next hour he woke up blubbering and wanted his Dada...except Dada is out of town. We call Dada on speakerphone and he helps sing Munchkin to sleep.
When I get out of Munchkin's room for the third time in 3 hours, the light in the living room was off. Thinking it was a burned out bulb I go to the linen closet for a new bulb and the light in the hall won't turn on. No problem, just a blown fuse somewhere. I go flip the breaker; nothing. I try a few other things; nothing.
I call my dad. He tells me to turn off all switches one by one, maybe the switches are mislabeled. One by one I turn things off and turn them back on. Still nothing. Then I smell burning. My heart starts to race and I mention it to my dad. Turns out my neighbors were having some random late night bonfire which, strangely enough, isn't that unusual. Crisis averted, my house isn't on fire.
After about 20 minutes nothing has worked. Oh well, guess a call to the electrician will go out tomorrow. During this time, Munchkin has heard me puttering around and is awake again. Wonderful.
My mom calls during this time; I'm frustrated, sitting in the dark in the living room with an extension cord to the other side of the room so I can keep my computer plugged in. Could I go upstairs? Yes. But my DVR is in the living room and I was watching something. I explain the situation for her, she asks if I have something plugged in tot he bathroom outlet and if that little button tripped.....uh, never thought of that. Sure enough, SUCCESS!! In the meantime, Munchkin has passed out.
He was up and fussing every few hours all night so neither of us got much sleep. When I finally get him to nap in the afternoon he goes down pretty easily. An hour into his nap I'm wrapping a package for my sister and need scissors. I then realize the scissors are in Munchkin's room; I'll just creep in real quiet and get the scissors, they're just right on the changing table.
I creeeeeep in making sure I don't step on the places that creak loudly. I grab the scissors, start to back out and WHACK! Right into the door which makes the loudest noise possible. F*^@! Munchkin immediately wakes up and bolts right up. I freeze. It's 130 in the afternoon and my first reaction is to freeze like I'll blend in with the surroundings and he won't see me. No such luck! Oh well, guess it's time to get up.
When I get out of Munchkin's room for the third time in 3 hours, the light in the living room was off. Thinking it was a burned out bulb I go to the linen closet for a new bulb and the light in the hall won't turn on. No problem, just a blown fuse somewhere. I go flip the breaker; nothing. I try a few other things; nothing.
I call my dad. He tells me to turn off all switches one by one, maybe the switches are mislabeled. One by one I turn things off and turn them back on. Still nothing. Then I smell burning. My heart starts to race and I mention it to my dad. Turns out my neighbors were having some random late night bonfire which, strangely enough, isn't that unusual. Crisis averted, my house isn't on fire.
After about 20 minutes nothing has worked. Oh well, guess a call to the electrician will go out tomorrow. During this time, Munchkin has heard me puttering around and is awake again. Wonderful.
My mom calls during this time; I'm frustrated, sitting in the dark in the living room with an extension cord to the other side of the room so I can keep my computer plugged in. Could I go upstairs? Yes. But my DVR is in the living room and I was watching something. I explain the situation for her, she asks if I have something plugged in tot he bathroom outlet and if that little button tripped.....uh, never thought of that. Sure enough, SUCCESS!! In the meantime, Munchkin has passed out.
He was up and fussing every few hours all night so neither of us got much sleep. When I finally get him to nap in the afternoon he goes down pretty easily. An hour into his nap I'm wrapping a package for my sister and need scissors. I then realize the scissors are in Munchkin's room; I'll just creep in real quiet and get the scissors, they're just right on the changing table.
I creeeeeep in making sure I don't step on the places that creak loudly. I grab the scissors, start to back out and WHACK! Right into the door which makes the loudest noise possible. F*^@! Munchkin immediately wakes up and bolts right up. I freeze. It's 130 in the afternoon and my first reaction is to freeze like I'll blend in with the surroundings and he won't see me. No such luck! Oh well, guess it's time to get up.
Monday, August 13, 2012
What I Learned From "Sex and the City"
There's an episode of "Sex and the City" in which Miranda realizes people wear masks when it comes to things you think others may judge you for or you're insecure about. You're married but don't want kids? When someone asks for the 1000th time when you're having kids, make a joke about wanting nice furniture without chocolate stains. Pushing 40 and not married? Make a joke about being the ultimate single gal.
My mask? Having a second baby.
I was told by my OBGYN that I shouldn't think about having a second baby until G-man is 2. I kept thinking that was forever away and to not think about it until the time came. Well, believe it or not, G-man is 20 months old (pause for gasps!). I know, I'm not sure how it happened either but the fact is he's pushing two years old. At my last blood pressure check (passed with flying colors, thank you very much!) my doctor mentioned we may want to start some blood panels and tests to possibly get ready for our next. "Our next what?" "Your next baby." I almost fell off the table.
It hit me like a ton of bricks that it's been almost two years since our mini bundle of joy burst into this world and, between you and me, I'm fricken' scared to death to even think about possibly just entertaining the idea of another pregnancy.
I volunteer at the NICU G-man was born into so it's not like I've completely forgotten what it's like to be there, but somewhere between his first smile and his first steps I blocked out just how incredibly terrifying and awful it was.
If you know me, you know that I generally have a sarcastic or witty comeback for just about anything. My "second baby mask" is no different. When someone asks me if we'll have another, I make a joke about how G-man is more than enough for us, sometimes too much, hahaha (see the mask?).
Truth is, I want another baby. I want G-man to have a sibling and I always saw myself the mom of two. However the reality of it is we were extraordinarily lucky to both come out alive the first time. We have an absolutely amazing son I wouldn't trade for anything and I'm terrified to my core of having another preemie or worse. Maybe one will just have to be enough.
Plus, G-man is the light of my life and when you hit a hole-in-one, you stop swinging. (see what I did there? mask!)
My mask? Having a second baby.
I was told by my OBGYN that I shouldn't think about having a second baby until G-man is 2. I kept thinking that was forever away and to not think about it until the time came. Well, believe it or not, G-man is 20 months old (pause for gasps!). I know, I'm not sure how it happened either but the fact is he's pushing two years old. At my last blood pressure check (passed with flying colors, thank you very much!) my doctor mentioned we may want to start some blood panels and tests to possibly get ready for our next. "Our next what?" "Your next baby." I almost fell off the table.
It hit me like a ton of bricks that it's been almost two years since our mini bundle of joy burst into this world and, between you and me, I'm fricken' scared to death to even think about possibly just entertaining the idea of another pregnancy.
I volunteer at the NICU G-man was born into so it's not like I've completely forgotten what it's like to be there, but somewhere between his first smile and his first steps I blocked out just how incredibly terrifying and awful it was.
If you know me, you know that I generally have a sarcastic or witty comeback for just about anything. My "second baby mask" is no different. When someone asks me if we'll have another, I make a joke about how G-man is more than enough for us, sometimes too much, hahaha (see the mask?).
Truth is, I want another baby. I want G-man to have a sibling and I always saw myself the mom of two. However the reality of it is we were extraordinarily lucky to both come out alive the first time. We have an absolutely amazing son I wouldn't trade for anything and I'm terrified to my core of having another preemie or worse. Maybe one will just have to be enough.
Plus, G-man is the light of my life and when you hit a hole-in-one, you stop swinging. (see what I did there? mask!)
Monday, July 09, 2012
MWF Seeks BFF
So I've started reading a book called "MWF Seeks BFF" (or Married White Female seeking Best Friend Forever for those of you not hip to my lingo). It really hits home with me because it's about a married woman who relocates to a different part of the country to be with her husband. She has a few acquaintances but nobody to really call a close or good friend; no one to call on a Friday night to get last minute drinks or catch the midnight showing of "Magic Mike", no one to zing you with a sarcastic, incredibly not politically correct comment that knocks your socks off.
This book is hilarious but also makes me feel like I'm not alone in feeling alone. Many families, young and old, have packed up and moved from wherever they call home to where the jobs are. Hubs and I did the exact same thing; he has a great job, they said we need you in Detroit and we went. It's exciting and scary all at the same time.
You have to start from scratch. I still have my girlfriends but only from afar. As much as we talk and commiserate and laugh over Skype, text, FB, etc., I still feel alone on the ever increasing nights the Hubs is gone for work. I want to be able to do a Deadliest Catch night where I make appetizers, have bbq's and not have to drink a bottle of wine on my own. Okay, well maybe that last one isn't so bad.
However, I'm a classic introvert. I have a hard time putting myself out there and walking into a room in which I know no one. I like to socialize, I like to be out and about...to a point. And putting myself (and G-Man) out of my comfort zone again and again and again is tiring. Especially because there are many more hits than misses. I've made a few friends, but I've also met a lot of weirdos.
Guess I'm another MWF Seeking a BFF in a new city.
This book is hilarious but also makes me feel like I'm not alone in feeling alone. Many families, young and old, have packed up and moved from wherever they call home to where the jobs are. Hubs and I did the exact same thing; he has a great job, they said we need you in Detroit and we went. It's exciting and scary all at the same time.
You have to start from scratch. I still have my girlfriends but only from afar. As much as we talk and commiserate and laugh over Skype, text, FB, etc., I still feel alone on the ever increasing nights the Hubs is gone for work. I want to be able to do a Deadliest Catch night where I make appetizers, have bbq's and not have to drink a bottle of wine on my own. Okay, well maybe that last one isn't so bad.
However, I'm a classic introvert. I have a hard time putting myself out there and walking into a room in which I know no one. I like to socialize, I like to be out and about...to a point. And putting myself (and G-Man) out of my comfort zone again and again and again is tiring. Especially because there are many more hits than misses. I've made a few friends, but I've also met a lot of weirdos.
Guess I'm another MWF Seeking a BFF in a new city.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
It's Always Something
It always seems to be something with our family. HELLP Syndrome in an otherwise healthy pregnancy, NICU stay, RSV, stomach flu...the list goes on. It's always something.
This time: pink eye. Not for G-man, for me. HOW did I get pink eye, you ask? I have no freakin' clue. But I do and it sucks. It's gross, it's not the most comfortable thing in the world and I probably should just keep it to myself...but what fun would THAT be?
I'm trying like hell to ensure G-man doesn't get it but let's just cross our fingers. However, RSV didn't slow him down much. He just created a slime trail as he chased the cats down the hall.
But being typical me, I've turned a (hopefully) simple case of pink eye into a catastrophe. On our evening walk I simply ask Hubs "if I have to get a glass eye, will you still love me?" In true Hubs fashion he asks, "how many pirate jokes am I allowed to make?"
I've convinced myself I'm basically going to turn into Two-Face from Batman: pretty on one side, skeletal on the other where they had to remove my eye and face tissue because I've somehow contracted flesh eating bacteria of the eye.
We also had the WebMD conversation again.
That is all for tonight. I need to go hobble up to my bell tower now.
This time: pink eye. Not for G-man, for me. HOW did I get pink eye, you ask? I have no freakin' clue. But I do and it sucks. It's gross, it's not the most comfortable thing in the world and I probably should just keep it to myself...but what fun would THAT be?
I'm trying like hell to ensure G-man doesn't get it but let's just cross our fingers. However, RSV didn't slow him down much. He just created a slime trail as he chased the cats down the hall.
But being typical me, I've turned a (hopefully) simple case of pink eye into a catastrophe. On our evening walk I simply ask Hubs "if I have to get a glass eye, will you still love me?" In true Hubs fashion he asks, "how many pirate jokes am I allowed to make?"
I've convinced myself I'm basically going to turn into Two-Face from Batman: pretty on one side, skeletal on the other where they had to remove my eye and face tissue because I've somehow contracted flesh eating bacteria of the eye.
We also had the WebMD conversation again.
That is all for tonight. I need to go hobble up to my bell tower now.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Reduce, Reuse
Reduse, reuse, recycle! Welcome to 1st grade. :)
I'm sick of having a bag of chocolate chips in my pantry with a clip on the bag. It looks messy, the clips falls off and it becomes messy, it doesn't stack well, and I just don't like it.
Enter: empty parmesan cheese container.
Problem solved.
I'm sick of having a bag of chocolate chips in my pantry with a clip on the bag. It looks messy, the clips falls off and it becomes messy, it doesn't stack well, and I just don't like it.
Enter: empty parmesan cheese container.
Monday, May 21, 2012
The List
Most people know what the "Top 5" list is. For those of you who don't know, this is a list a lot of people have which states the 5 celebrities you're allowed to sleep with without your spouse getting mad. Ridicuous? Maybe. Petty? Possibly. Necessary? Absolutely!
While I was in New York in March, I had a conversation with my sister about said list. I told my sister although I have the normal list of 5, I also have a list of celebrities I just want to punch in the face. Her reaction was, "wow, anger much?"
No, no. It's not about anger, it's just about those certain celebrities that bug you so much you just can't help but want to punch them right in the face! That's not anger, right? Totally normal.
My list consists of:
Kim Kardashian
Tom Cruise
Leo DiCaprio
The Entire Jersey Shore Cast
Justin Bieber
Willow Smith (Will Smith's daughter. Yes she's 11. I really think instead of thinking "wow, she wants to punch an 11-year-old" you should really be thinking "wow, you're right. She must be JUST THAT annoying in order for her to have an 11-year-old on her list!")
Well, feast your eyes on this little beauty:
Apparently I'm not the only one! You can buy them from 27thStreetPress on Etsy. Awesome.
While I was in New York in March, I had a conversation with my sister about said list. I told my sister although I have the normal list of 5, I also have a list of celebrities I just want to punch in the face. Her reaction was, "wow, anger much?"
No, no. It's not about anger, it's just about those certain celebrities that bug you so much you just can't help but want to punch them right in the face! That's not anger, right? Totally normal.
My list consists of:
Kim Kardashian
Tom Cruise
Leo DiCaprio
The Entire Jersey Shore Cast
Justin Bieber
Willow Smith (Will Smith's daughter. Yes she's 11. I really think instead of thinking "wow, she wants to punch an 11-year-old" you should really be thinking "wow, you're right. She must be JUST THAT annoying in order for her to have an 11-year-old on her list!")
Well, feast your eyes on this little beauty:
Monday, May 07, 2012
Occupational Hazard
I love to cook and one of the perks of being a stay-at-home mom now has given me the opportunity to try new recipes and play around with baking. I try to have new or interesting recipes for the Hubs when he gets home from work and to expand The Munchkin's culinary horizons.
I hate, HATE!, when I get a recipe, thaw the meat, get ready to cook and...the meat is spoiled. WTF?! Groceries are expensive enough here but then the ground beef is somehow spoiled? Damn you, Trader Joes, damn you.
Guess it's Noodles & Co. again tonight.
Thursday, May 03, 2012
Nailed It
I love freshly painted nails. I'm a stay-at-home mom right now and I do try to look nice most of the time...but let's face it, some days I just throw on track pants and a shirt that smells fine,throw my hair into a ponytail and call it good. Some days I put on makeup, other days I don't even bother.
However, I always try to have my nails done. I feel like even when I may look like a schmuck, at least my nails are nice. There's just something nice about having nicely done nails that makes me feel put together and fancy. I'm always on the hunt for new nail polish and new colors.
This week I tried Pure Ice brand in Kissy Kiss. It's only $1.50 a bottle but it does chip pretty easily. Last week I bought Essie No-Chip Top Coat and I was a little skeptical about how much it would actually work, or how much better than a normal top coat. The Pure Ice usually chips pretty fast, within a day or so. With normal top coat I get an extra day or so out of it, but I usually get no more than 4 days of unchipped nails.
Here are my nails right after I did them with Kissy Kiss and Essie No-Chip.
Here's a full week after.
Keep in mind I did several rounds of dishes, bathed a toddler and scrubbed the kitchen. I'm impressed with the No-Chip and it's definitely worth the $8 it costs.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Back from Beyond
My first post in several months is going to be a gripe. I believe we have the laziest mail lady on the planet. Not only is she completely unfriendly, she talks on her phone the whole time she's delivering mail and instead of walking up and down our path to the door, she cuts across our grass. She's even failed to take my outgoing mail on several occasions. Awesome. And people wonder why the USPS is cutting jobs and closing post offices. Case in point: This is how she throws the mail in our doorway. We have a mail slot in our front door so when the door is open the mail carrier just opens the storm door and plops the mail in the entryway. Other mail carriers plop it in a nice pile...this woman apparently throws it in like she's throwing New Years confetti.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Rough Day
Any time I have a rough day or feel down I will now play this video and laugh my butt off.
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
Skinny
People who say "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" have obviously never tasted my mint brownies. That is all.
Monday, January 02, 2012
Magazine Friday
I have a slight problem with hoarding magazines. I presently am the proud owner of 5 magazine subscriptions and I pick up at least two more at the store weekly. I have a vested interest (okay, an obsession) with celebrity gossip and food magazines. My obsession is so great The Hubs and I now have what we endearingly call "magazine Friday". Every Friday Hubs gets home from work and we load of Munchkin, head to Target Boutique and I peruse the weekly magazine rack. I get excited to see what selatious stories the tabloids have cooked up this week. You may think it's juvenile and crap but it's my weekly escape into a lifestyle none of us will know. Do I condone paps hounding celebrities and their families, no. But without a vested interest in their personal lives, half the celebrities wouldn't have a career (Kim Kardashian, anyone?)
I do think many of them are silly. I frequently read an article about someone or read a quote they said and launch into a diatribe to The Hubs about why this particular celebrity is an idiot/egomaniac/not talented/shouldn't be famous. I hate the Kardashians (and I'm not one who hates them but still watches their ever-growing number of shows), think the divorce rate is disgusting, am annoyed by a vast majority of them, and have somewhat of an emotional attachment to celebrities I deem nice people despite being in showbiz.
Not every magazine makes the cut either. In respect to the celebrity weeklies, I absolutely put my foot down if the cover story is something I know to be an all out fabrication (Brangelina weds! Jen Aniston says "leggo, I'm Preggo"! There was a secret Twilight Wedding!) Also, if the same story is on three covers I buy the "OK!" magazine. I deem "OK!" to be the most reputable of the more trashy celebrity magazines. The list goes as follows: "Us Weekly" (which I subscribe), "People Magazine" (which I SHOULD subscribe to but never got around to), "OK! Magazine", then "In Touch" and "Life and Style" are neck and neck, and "Star" brings up the bottom.
I also subscribe to Cosmo, Marie Claire, Glamour, and Food Network Magazine. With The Munchkin I have very little time to read the magazines I love let alone the ones I subscribe to so there's a large stack of unread magazines in our guest room. I look at it as something for our guests to read in their room since we have yet to hook up the t.v. in that room. I get around to reading them once in awhile. More on that later.
So there you have it; why Friday is just a little sweeter for me.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
You Said What?
When someone you know has a preemie it's a hard time for everyone. The excitement, pomp and circumstance that usually surround a birth is absent. It's hard to know what to say to help the parents because you know nothing you say will make them feel better but you also don't want to say something stupid and make them feel worse. Here's some help:
-First and foremost, if you don't know what to say, for the love of God don't stay quiet. Nothing made us feel worse than people who just didn't say anything at all. In hindsight we know it was because they didn't know what to say but in the moment it felt like we were either ignored or Munchkin wasn't being celebrated. Yes he was early and it was scary but he was still born and that's still reason to celebrate. If you don't know what to say, say that! "I don't know what to say but congratulations and he/she is amazing. You are so strong and let me know if you need anything."
-Do NOT lead with "oh my gosh, he/she is so tiny" and leave it at that. The baby was early, the parents know the baby is tiny and don't need that constantly pointed out. However, if that's part of what is said it's okay. So tiny and cute, so tiny and feisty, so tiny and look at all that hair! These are all okay, pick a second adjective though and don't just stick with tiny.
-Sometimes just the offer of help means the most. The parents may or may not take you up on the offer but they'll know you're there if they need it. Trust me, some of the people I remember the most throughout our whole ordeal are the people who offered some sort of assistance every time I talked to them. There is one friend in particular that sticks out for me. Every single time I talked to her she would offer a shoulder to cry on. Every time I logged in to Facebook I would have a message from her reminding me if I needed to talk she'd be there for me. I can't explain to you how much that still means to me. I never took her up on it because I wanted to just crawl into my shell and put on a brave front, but I thought about it almost every day.
-DO NOT forget they had a baby and there is cause for celebration. Send a card, flowers, balloons, or whatever you would've sent had the baby been full-term. Don't be overenthusiastic about the birth but don't be too depressing either.
Above all else, be a sounding board. You won't be able to honestly feel what they feel or know the emotion that goes into it. You won't understand a lot of the medical things that are said. But the best think you can do is listen and be a shoulder if that person decides to open the flood gates to you.
-First and foremost, if you don't know what to say, for the love of God don't stay quiet. Nothing made us feel worse than people who just didn't say anything at all. In hindsight we know it was because they didn't know what to say but in the moment it felt like we were either ignored or Munchkin wasn't being celebrated. Yes he was early and it was scary but he was still born and that's still reason to celebrate. If you don't know what to say, say that! "I don't know what to say but congratulations and he/she is amazing. You are so strong and let me know if you need anything."
-Do NOT lead with "oh my gosh, he/she is so tiny" and leave it at that. The baby was early, the parents know the baby is tiny and don't need that constantly pointed out. However, if that's part of what is said it's okay. So tiny and cute, so tiny and feisty, so tiny and look at all that hair! These are all okay, pick a second adjective though and don't just stick with tiny.
-Sometimes just the offer of help means the most. The parents may or may not take you up on the offer but they'll know you're there if they need it. Trust me, some of the people I remember the most throughout our whole ordeal are the people who offered some sort of assistance every time I talked to them. There is one friend in particular that sticks out for me. Every single time I talked to her she would offer a shoulder to cry on. Every time I logged in to Facebook I would have a message from her reminding me if I needed to talk she'd be there for me. I can't explain to you how much that still means to me. I never took her up on it because I wanted to just crawl into my shell and put on a brave front, but I thought about it almost every day.
-DO NOT forget they had a baby and there is cause for celebration. Send a card, flowers, balloons, or whatever you would've sent had the baby been full-term. Don't be overenthusiastic about the birth but don't be too depressing either.
Above all else, be a sounding board. You won't be able to honestly feel what they feel or know the emotion that goes into it. You won't understand a lot of the medical things that are said. But the best think you can do is listen and be a shoulder if that person decides to open the flood gates to you.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thankful
I thought I would do a Thanksgiving blog this year since there is so, so much to be thankful for.
This year I'm thankful for:
-The roof over our heads and the fact we can afford the roof and have me stay home with Munchkin.
-The Hubs who works so hard to provide for us so we don't have to worry about anything.
-Our health. A cliche, yes, but this year it's true. Health has taken on a whole new meaning after last December and I am so grateful to be here, healthy and able to live life as normal once again. Graham's health is better every day and considering where he came from, that in and of itself it amazing.
-My family. I have become closer to my parents in a way I never thought I would. Being a parent has given me a new appreciation for my mom and dad and the sacrifices they made to make my and my sister's life better. They have been an amazing source of strength for me over the last few years and never more so than when I've been at my weakest. They raise me up. My sister and brother are amazing. My sister is such an inspiration to me and the fact that she relishes being an aunt warms my heart. She had her first semester law school finals while I was in the hospital and no one told her how seriously ill I was. When she found out how bad it was she was PISSED. I love her for that. :)
-The nurses and doctors at St. Joseph Mercy that saved our lives last year. My nurses: Carrie and Carol who snuck me popsicles when I was tired of ice chips and snuck me to the NICU to meet Munchkin when the docs said no. Munchkin's nurses and doctors, especially: Carrie, Jill, Amy, and Cammie, Dr. Ivacko and Dr. Weiner. They all took a special interest in Munchkin and treated him like family. He wasn't just a patient to them, he was their own child or grandchild and they fought tooth and nail and stayed long past their shifts to help and brainstorm. I am forever in their debt for what they did for him.
-My friends, both old and new. I miss my friends in Colorado so much. I miss being a more physical presence in their lives but being away has really shown me who my real friends are and I cherish them. My new friends here in Michigan are a godsend. Sarah and Kasey have been a breath of fresh air and are so amazing. I would be friends with them even if we didn't have kids! Their friendship has made Michigan feel like home and the girl time I get with each of them is priceless. They've kept me sane and probably out of the looney bin a few times!
-And mostly, I'm thankful for The Hubs and Munchkin. Munchkin is my heart and soul and I never knew I could love someone as much as that little man. He melts my heart and I would've willingly given my life in those fateful days in December if it meant he got to grow up big and strong. Every thing he does is amazing to me because it almost didn't happen; because every breath, laugh, bottle, piece of food, crawl is something that almost wasn't. And The Hubs; we've had our ups and downs like all married couples but he's been there to hold me up (literally and figuratively) over the past 11 1/2 months and has been my cheerleader. He sees the positive when all I want to see is the negative. He takes Munchkin and tells me to go get a manicure/haircut/buy a book/get coffe, etc. He gets up early on the weekends so I can catch up on sleep. He understands that even though I don't have a job outside the home, what I do at home is still hard and time consuming and exhausting. He's an amazing Dad to that little boy.
I hope everyone else had a good Thanksgiving and remember it's not JUST about the amazing food; it's about coming together with the people you love and appreciating what you do have, however much or little that may be.
This year I'm thankful for:
-The roof over our heads and the fact we can afford the roof and have me stay home with Munchkin.
-The Hubs who works so hard to provide for us so we don't have to worry about anything.
-Our health. A cliche, yes, but this year it's true. Health has taken on a whole new meaning after last December and I am so grateful to be here, healthy and able to live life as normal once again. Graham's health is better every day and considering where he came from, that in and of itself it amazing.
-My family. I have become closer to my parents in a way I never thought I would. Being a parent has given me a new appreciation for my mom and dad and the sacrifices they made to make my and my sister's life better. They have been an amazing source of strength for me over the last few years and never more so than when I've been at my weakest. They raise me up. My sister and brother are amazing. My sister is such an inspiration to me and the fact that she relishes being an aunt warms my heart. She had her first semester law school finals while I was in the hospital and no one told her how seriously ill I was. When she found out how bad it was she was PISSED. I love her for that. :)
-The nurses and doctors at St. Joseph Mercy that saved our lives last year. My nurses: Carrie and Carol who snuck me popsicles when I was tired of ice chips and snuck me to the NICU to meet Munchkin when the docs said no. Munchkin's nurses and doctors, especially: Carrie, Jill, Amy, and Cammie, Dr. Ivacko and Dr. Weiner. They all took a special interest in Munchkin and treated him like family. He wasn't just a patient to them, he was their own child or grandchild and they fought tooth and nail and stayed long past their shifts to help and brainstorm. I am forever in their debt for what they did for him.
-My friends, both old and new. I miss my friends in Colorado so much. I miss being a more physical presence in their lives but being away has really shown me who my real friends are and I cherish them. My new friends here in Michigan are a godsend. Sarah and Kasey have been a breath of fresh air and are so amazing. I would be friends with them even if we didn't have kids! Their friendship has made Michigan feel like home and the girl time I get with each of them is priceless. They've kept me sane and probably out of the looney bin a few times!
-And mostly, I'm thankful for The Hubs and Munchkin. Munchkin is my heart and soul and I never knew I could love someone as much as that little man. He melts my heart and I would've willingly given my life in those fateful days in December if it meant he got to grow up big and strong. Every thing he does is amazing to me because it almost didn't happen; because every breath, laugh, bottle, piece of food, crawl is something that almost wasn't. And The Hubs; we've had our ups and downs like all married couples but he's been there to hold me up (literally and figuratively) over the past 11 1/2 months and has been my cheerleader. He sees the positive when all I want to see is the negative. He takes Munchkin and tells me to go get a manicure/haircut/buy a book/get coffe, etc. He gets up early on the weekends so I can catch up on sleep. He understands that even though I don't have a job outside the home, what I do at home is still hard and time consuming and exhausting. He's an amazing Dad to that little boy.
I hope everyone else had a good Thanksgiving and remember it's not JUST about the amazing food; it's about coming together with the people you love and appreciating what you do have, however much or little that may be.
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